Everyone has a different way of grieving but there are some common stages and feelings during this period. We at PRC Clifton Karachi psycho-educate our clients and help them deal with the process in a healthy way. There are generally five stages or phases of grief which are as follows:
Usually, the first response to loss is shock and not believing, not accepting the reality in order to minimize the emotional pain. It is difficult and extremely painful so the person just wants to believe that the loss has not happened; processing the loss is not easy, so denying it would make a person cope with the overwhelming emotions. It is a temporary phase and after that healing from the pain will start.
When a person tries to accept the reality, he/she may feel this common emotion of being angry. He/she thought and questions that why this happened to him/her? It is absolutely normal in the grieving state and the person is not mentally sick. Sometimes, the person him/herself is confused too that why he/she is becoming angry on little things or without any obvious reason. Some people openly express their anger and it is an emotional outlet for them. Some people do not express their anger as being angry is not acceptable in many cultures or families. Those who do not express their pain through anger, might start to resent the person who is no more with them. This may lead to guilt, crying, anxiety or bitterness. Due to this a person isolates him/herself from others who might want to comfort him/her. Everyone takes their own time in healing and move towards the next stage of acceptance.
It is the negotiation phase where a grieving person tries to deal with God or people around them that he/she will become a good person if the loss will be reversed or it must be a bad dream only. Some people prays that he/she would do anything like not being angry anymore if the current pain will be gone. Some people will try to make offers or deals that he/she will leave the bad habits if the other person will stay or not leave him/her. It takes some time to realize the painful helplessness that nothing could be done now to get back the person who has died or gone. He/she will never come back.
When the reality hits hard that a person have lost someone precious, then they become depressed. It is a phase or stage in grief process. It is not the real clinical depression. In this stage the grieving person becomes socially isolated and deals with the overwhelming emotion of sadness. In this stage the emptiness is overwhelming and the person becomes weak or feels a lot of fatigue. It is the emotional drainage. The person feels the void much more now than in any other stage of grief. All of this is very tiring but its temporary. The person slowly and gradually moved towards the acceptance stage.
It is the last stage of grief process where one accepts the reality. It does not mean that the pain is gone. Pain is there but the person has moved on with his or her life. Memories cannot be deleted but those memories do not let the person stops from living his or her life normally. Accepting this reality of losing someone is no doubt painful but by the end of grief process, one becomes okay. The person becomes a new person with a lot of personal growth.
The order of the stages could be different for each individual and not everyone goes through all these 5 stages. As it is a unique experience for everyone, so they may or may not go through all stages. Some might experience all 5 stages and for others only 3 or 4 stages are all that complete their process of grief. This process is overwhelming and difficult for the people who are going through it. But it’s absolutely a normal process.
If you need help with someone who is going through the grief process, you can always come to PRC Rehabilitation Center for counseling. Parvarish Recovery Center is basically an addiction and psychiatric rehab center but we also deal with other mental and emotional issues. For our full range of services feel free to call us at 0341-1959599 or visit our treatment rehabilitation centers.